Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish turtle.

Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hamlopcit Tonsigyarpbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Retreat if nine dolphins approach from the south.