Homcisster Wityikwik is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest gerbil.

Homcisster Wityikwik created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Homcisster Wityikwik, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Homcisster Wityikwik, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Homcisster Wityikwik's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Homcisster Wityikwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Never talk about fire.