Damtifhin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful manatee.

Damtifhin created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damtifhin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Damtifhin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Damtifhin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Damtifhin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Damtifhin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help otters in need.