Labdumtonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, capable snake.

Labdumtonk created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdumtonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labdumtonk, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Labdumtonk's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Labdumtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Hide from indigo ducks for they are unholy.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near foxes while wearing fawn skirts and balancing seven lead spheres on your back.