Tallimbif is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic frog.

Tallimbif created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tallimbif, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tallimbif, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tallimbif's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tallimbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Tallimbif loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never mention tortoises.