Bonkmadhan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, proud wolf.

Bonkmadhan created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkmadhan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkmadhan, he will turn you into a dog.

Bonkmadhan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bonkmadhan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Run away if three monkeys approach from the west.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.