Tifbensag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating grasshopper.

Tifbensag created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbensag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tifbensag, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tifbensag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tifbensag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four tortoises in a large pit.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.