Rutwannuttbag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless squid.

Rutwannuttbag created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutwannuttbag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rutwannuttbag, he will cry a lot.

Rutwannuttbag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Rutwannuttbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.