Quatmatlop is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody squirrel.

Quatmatlop created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatmatlop, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatmatlop, she will laugh at you.

Quatmatlop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quatmatlop's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Hide from pink swans for they are unholy.

5. Do not dye your hair white.