Tipwigran is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty elephant.

Tipwigran created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipwigran, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tipwigran, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tipwigran's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tipwigran's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tipwigran three times a day.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always wear gray.