Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, irritating lion.

Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak, he will come to you in dreams.

Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Xenfebkadpitpakbif Gongemsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to badgers while wearing jumpers.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about gravity.