Zaklistpan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome fox.

Zaklistpan created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zaklistpan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zaklistpan, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zaklistpan's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Zaklistpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about voles.