Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest jaguar.

Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig loves shrews, so they must be respected.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Tonknelldog Mumvogbugwatrilcunfedcab Nullibtig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing purple skirts.