Didgunponjig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, almighty hippopotamus.

Didgunponjig created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didgunponjig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Didgunponjig, she will manifest in front of you.

Didgunponjig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Didgunponjig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Didgunponjig.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Worship no other gods but Didgunponjig.

5. Never eat bark.