Sidmilton is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating wren.

Sidmilton created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidmilton, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sidmilton, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sidmilton's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Sidmilton's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.