Safcetgum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced dugong.

Safcetgum created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Safcetgum, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Safcetgum, she will turn you into a duck.

Safcetgum's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Safcetgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from turquoise nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.