Satgadbanmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous cobra.

Satgadbanmeg created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satgadbanmeg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Satgadbanmeg, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Satgadbanmeg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Satgadbanmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Satgadbanmeg first in all things.

2. Never skip near shrews.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Do not keep nine swans in a large pit.