Riggemgut is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, idiotic elephant.

Riggemgut created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Riggemgut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Riggemgut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Riggemgut's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Riggemgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed coconuts to nematodes while wearing purple rings.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near whales while wearing green ear rings and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.