Monpinfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient swallow.

Monpinfum created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Monpinfum, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Monpinfum, he will strike you with lightening.

Monpinfum's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Monpinfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Monpinfum must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Monpinfum in the centre of the settlement.