Garhunhak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty mouse.

Garhunhak created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garhunhak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Garhunhak, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Garhunhak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Garhunhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Garhunhak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Retreat if four porpoises approach from the east.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.