Fastifdud is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, compassionate dugong.

Fastifdud created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Fastifdud, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fastifdud, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fastifdud's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fastifdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near pigs while wearing brown hats and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing orange shorts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your arms.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never paint your chest purple.