Batspagjam is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating sheep.

Batspagjam created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batspagjam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batspagjam, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Batspagjam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Batspagjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Always help sick sharks.

5. Never hurt turtles.