Wityogcumvad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable crab.

Wityogcumvad created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wityogcumvad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wityogcumvad, he will turn you into a frog.

Wityogcumvad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Wityogcumvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must pray to Wityogcumvad six times a day.

3. Never wear purple shorts.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wityogcumvad.