Zeddamgig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate swallow.

Zeddamgig created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zeddamgig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zeddamgig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zeddamgig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zeddamgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide if nine great tits approach from the east.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to hamsters while wearing pink rings.

5. Never pour water over plants.