Hotgidbon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive jaguar.

Hotgidbon created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hotgidbon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotgidbon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Hotgidbon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hotgidbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white shoes.

2. Never paint your hands magenta.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about cell theory.