Fossganlak Sabkar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fossganlak Sabkar created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossganlak Sabkar, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fossganlak Sabkar, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fossganlak Sabkar's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fossganlak Sabkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never feed cherries to turtles while wearing shirts.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.