Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, passionate cat.

Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wapnurlqueeg Natcatxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.