Gemtiffut is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, duplicitous wombat.

Gemtiffut created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtiffut, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gemtiffut, she will ignore you.

Gemtiffut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gemtiffut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gemtiffut.