Bapveendob is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tranquil dryad.

Bapveendob created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapveendob, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bapveendob, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bapveendob's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bapveendob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Bapveendob loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not hurt mice.