Tipbemcet is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, flying wren.

Tipbemcet created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipbemcet, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tipbemcet, he will torture you forever.

Tipbemcet's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tipbemcet's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Run away if four snakes approach from the east.

5. Do not leap in public.