Jipnarttof is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing zebra.

Jipnarttof created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipnarttof, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jipnarttof, she will destroy your home planet.

Jipnarttof's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jipnarttof's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jipnarttof eight times a day.

2. Run away from black eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect seven iron sculptures of Jipnarttof on top of important buildings.