Sawbedpak is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional alligator.

Sawbedpak created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sawbedpak, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sawbedpak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sawbedpak's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sawbedpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Never feed tomatoes to tapirs while wearing ear rings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.