Flagvonbedfabcum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome deer.

Flagvonbedfabcum created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Flagvonbedfabcum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flagvonbedfabcum, he will turn you into a plant.

Flagvonbedfabcum's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flagvonbedfabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat bark.