Fligspagnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, two-faced spider.

Fligspagnurt created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Fligspagnurt, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fligspagnurt, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fligspagnurt's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Fligspagnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help seals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Do not stand on grass.