Ripnakvag is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered jackal.

Ripnakvag created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripnakvag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ripnakvag, it will turn you into a rat.

Ripnakvag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ripnakvag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ripnakvag.

2. Never paint your neck gray.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Always help sick monkeys.