Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak hedgehog.

Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from fawn sharks for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Yakteenjop Largsidcub Jadkinban's name in vain.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.