Flablopsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable giraffe.

Flablopsaf created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flablopsaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flablopsaf, he will come to you in dreams.

Flablopsaf's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flablopsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of seals.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Never leap near manatees.

4. Never talk about gravity near sharks while wearing pink skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.