Bessbesslid is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical dugong.

Bessbesslid created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Bessbesslid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bessbesslid, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bessbesslid's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bessbesslid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five gold sculptures of Bessbesslid on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about dark energy near turtles while wearing orange shoes and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

3. Never chant near horses.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.