Garnelrap Cutpibquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous chicken.

Garnelrap Cutpibquaf created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garnelrap Cutpibquaf, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garnelrap Cutpibquaf, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Garnelrap Cutpibquaf's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Garnelrap Cutpibquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Garnelrap Cutpibquaf.

2. Never wear turquoise dresses.

3. Run away from mauve eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help sheep in need.