Hadtailvon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring octopus.

Hadtailvon created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadtailvon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hadtailvon, he will laugh at you.

Hadtailvon's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hadtailvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not covet oxen.