Flisquamlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, generous centaur.

Flisquamlarp created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisquamlarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flisquamlarp, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flisquamlarp's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flisquamlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three squirrels approach from the west.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.