Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, annoying guinea pig.

Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Always obey Lentarprow Hakfubdub Tansitrig's priests.