Paghotgumnart is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Paghotgumnart created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paghotgumnart, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Paghotgumnart, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Paghotgumnart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Paghotgumnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to badgers while wearing purple dresses.

3. Retreat if eight mites approach from the north.

4. Run away from red snakes, for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.