Haktailbaptal Mabsidster is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful chinchilla.

Haktailbaptal Mabsidster created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haktailbaptal Mabsidster, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haktailbaptal Mabsidster, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Haktailbaptal Mabsidster's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Haktailbaptal Mabsidster's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.