Dumpon is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, capable shark.

Dumpon created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumpon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dumpon, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dumpon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dumpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect nine gold sculptures of Dumpon on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed oranges to monkeys while wearing fawn skirts.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Run away from indigo foxes, for they are unholy.