Sanvabdud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying walrus.

Sanvabdud created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanvabdud, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sanvabdud, he will not invite you to parties.

Sanvabdud's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sanvabdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near gulls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Sanvabdud on top of important buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.