Bimsugdad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, vain swallow.

Bimsugdad created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimsugdad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bimsugdad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bimsugdad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bimsugdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look after injured goats.