Hamwodlig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful swallow.

Hamwodlig created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamwodlig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamwodlig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hamwodlig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Hamwodlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never feed bread to snakes while wearing white shoes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about spacetime near rats while wearing orange corsets.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.