Nillbagvil Fasflatkip is a god.

He takes the form of a large, overgenerous skunk.

Nillbagvil Fasflatkip created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillbagvil Fasflatkip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nillbagvil Fasflatkip, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nillbagvil Fasflatkip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nillbagvil Fasflatkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near monkeys.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.