Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, kind crane.

Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cunpontipbotzennadlenvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not commit murder.